Livestock: it is strange we call them chat logs you know
Livestock: is there a forest of chats somewhere
Livestock: and a lumberjack that chops down the chats
Livestock: and do the chat logs float down a river
Livestock: or ride on the back of a truck
Livestock: until they find their way
Livestock: into our heads
Livestock: to be typed out
Livestock: is it possible what i just said is a metaphor for the great force that brings us words
Livestock: is conversing a forest
Livestock: OH GOD ARE WE DEFORESTING OUR CONVERSATIONS
Livestock: do you have thoughts
Moof: i think that if conversing is a forest
Moof: then your mind is like the sahara desert
Moof: full of sand livestock
Livestock: they don't call these sandlogs you idiot!!
Moof: they dont call them forestlogs either jerk
Livestock: DID YOU NOT GET THE PART ABOUT THIS BEING A METAPHOR
Moof: DID YOU NOT GET THE MEMO ABOUT BEING A JERK BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DID
Livestock: IF I COULD CRUSH YOUR HEAD IN THE DOOR OF A MICROWAVE OVEN I WOULD DO SO, BUT I THINK YOUR HEAD IS TOO BIG FOR CONVENTIONAL MICROWAVE OVENS
Moof: IF I COULD FREEZE YOU IN MY FREEZER I WOULD BUT THEN THERE WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH SPACE FOR FROZEN FOODS SUCH AS MEAT AND SALAD
Livestock: WHO FREEZES SALAD
Livestock: DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND LETTUCE
Moof: SOMETIMES YOU CAN FREEZE LETTUCE TO MAKE IT KEEP LONGER
Livestock: NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS WOULD I HAVE IMAGINED SUCH A STUPID THING TO COME FROM THE MOUTH OF A HUMAN BEING
Moof: MAYBE YOU SHOULD OPEN YOU HEART TO LET SOME DREAMS IN
Livestock: this is the last time i share any profound insights with you
Moof: I SWEAR TO GOD LIVESTOCK YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE
Moof: do you want a sandwich
Moof: okay :)
Nightwatch Brigade Insignia: Awarded for hiding in a coat closet and watching God's Not Dead, God's Not Dead 2, and Last Man Standing on a 1980s-era portable tv every night instead of sleeping
Why you honk and how it’s misinterpreted.
If you think Hitler was good, you've got another thing coming.
These tips are guaranteed to work. Nearly every time.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.