A Forest of Chats with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: it is strange we call them chat logs you know
Livestock: is there a forest of chats somewhere
Livestock: and a lumberjack that chops down the chats
Livestock: and do the chat logs float down a river
Livestock: or ride on the back of a truck
Livestock: until they find their way
Livestock: into our heads
Livestock: to be typed out
Livestock: is it possible what i just said is a metaphor for the great force that brings us words
Livestock: is conversing a forest
Livestock: OH GOD ARE WE DEFORESTING OUR CONVERSATIONS
Livestock: MOOF
Moof: AARRGGHH
Livestock: do you have thoughts
Moof: i think that if conversing is a forest
Moof: then your mind is like the sahara desert
Moof: full of sand livestock
Moof: sand
Livestock: they don't call these sandlogs you idiot!!
Moof: they dont call them forestlogs either jerk
Livestock: DID YOU NOT GET THE PART ABOUT THIS BEING A METAPHOR
Livestock: MORON
Moof: DID YOU NOT GET THE MEMO ABOUT BEING A JERK BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DID
Livestock: IF I COULD CRUSH YOUR HEAD IN THE DOOR OF A MICROWAVE OVEN I WOULD DO SO, BUT I THINK YOUR HEAD IS TOO BIG FOR CONVENTIONAL MICROWAVE OVENS
Moof: IF I COULD FREEZE YOU IN MY FREEZER I WOULD BUT THEN THERE WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH SPACE FOR FROZEN FOODS SUCH AS MEAT AND SALAD
Livestock: WHO FREEZES SALAD
Livestock: DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND LETTUCE
Moof: SOMETIMES YOU CAN FREEZE LETTUCE TO MAKE IT KEEP LONGER
Livestock: NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS WOULD I HAVE IMAGINED SUCH A STUPID THING TO COME FROM THE MOUTH OF A HUMAN BEING
Moof: MAYBE YOU SHOULD OPEN YOU HEART TO LET SOME DREAMS IN
Livestock: this is the last time i share any profound insights with you
Moof: I SWEAR TO GOD LIVESTOCK YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE
Moof: do you want a sandwich
Livestock: yes
Moof: okay :)

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

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