The deadliest place to relax.
The reality: Bathtubs and showers are dangerous places, but Hollywood has it all wrong. While you're on the lookout for an alien threat or a shark to appear in your grimy bath water, the real dangers are falling and electrocution. Take your safety advice from Final Destination, the most realistic of all Hollywood safety films. It warns us of the dangers of strangulation in the shower and also the risk of being smashed into bits of gore by a crane on the 4th of July, two of America's leading killers.
The genetic scrapheap of America.
The reality: Hollywood's portrayal is completely accurate. The American South is a swamp version of Mad Max where black people are hunted for sport and instead of cars they drive those boats with the big fans on the back.
In case you read my profile online and got excited, I wanted to clear up any misunderstandings.
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
It is said the Lord did write upon the sky, "Only the Most Awful shall be cataloged herein." And a wind did come and blow away the words and turn them into a skull. And the writers did fall upon their knees and give thanks, for yea, the Most Awful was good. Thus the lists were born. Read them, sons and daughters, and be strong.