#10: "Completely 3D FPS"
Over 40,000,000 weapons allow you to completely destroy the less than two different enemies (there's one). Another presumably teenage tribute to Call of Duty, mixing faux-military mumbo jumbo with Iranians, "wodden" fences, and a magic barn. Best of all, this FPS isn't completely in 3D, as the title just MIGHT lead you to expect. But that's okay, because it makes up for it in... um... well... you see, I don't actually know. If you find out, feel free to post the answer in the comments.
#9: "Horror FPS"
As you can expect, "horror" is used in the same sense as "completely 3D" in the above title, which can be summarized as "pretty much the exact diametric, polar and cardinal opposite of horror." Some undead jerk demands you collect the "four diamonds of the ancients" from his stupid, confusing apartment which is fully furnished with all the dead ends one could ever wish for. He wants you to do this for him because he's lazy as shit and the game designer hates you. This is one of the few games we actually finished, and finished in under five minutes, so at least it's got that going for it. Which is nice.
#8: "The Virus"
The virus has apparently corrupted z-buffers across the globe, since this game starts hardcore glitching about midway through it. Bloody lactating zombies shuffle at you in straight lines and test your ability to gaze at their pants without laughing to death. Something about "Z-Day" is mentioned on 2D signs throughout this game, so maybe it's related to that, but I'm not going to spend any more time thinking about this than I absolutely have to, so I'm not going to write another single wo
#7: "Terminations 4"
Okay there's this nutty game named "Kausill" and we've played like 10,000 of his rancid games. They all tend to borrow HEAVILY from Half-Life 2, to the degree you'll ask yourself, "Jesus, I don't remember Half-Life 2 being this retarded." Then Jesus will descend from Heaven and say, "it never was, my child" and your hard drive will be magically reformatted in NTFS because Jesus don't pull that FAT shit anymore, holmes. Anyway, Kausill is horrible at making games and you won't like this one because it lacks quality.
#6: "City Police Force"
You're a robot cop tasked with shooting football hooligans who have taken over three cities of the future, which is code for "shoot shit in a terrible Doom-cloned 3D engine." Ever wonder what future-chavs would look like? Curious to visit "Gang Land" and "Music Land?" You shouldn't be, as they're all extremely underwhelming.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It is said the Lord did write upon the sky, "Only the Most Awful shall be cataloged herein." And a wind did come and blow away the words and turn them into a skull. And the writers did fall upon their knees and give thanks, for yea, the Most Awful was good. Thus the lists were born. Read them, sons and daughters, and be strong.