Trillaphon: I wanted to make a joke about Raiden and thunder-farts, but unfortunately the Beavis and Butthead voices don't really translate into a text-based medium, so you'll have to use your imaginations here.
Hydrogen: This isn't even the only scene with sudden, inexplicable flatulence. Abelar: more fart sound effects than a novelty magic shop at a whoopie cushion convention in the bean-farming capital of North America.
Trillaphon: Not to mention more implied incest than Game of Thrones, but with none of the silly perks like plot, characters, clever dialogue or political intrigue weighing them down.
Hydrogen: Here's another fun fact: this oddly Christopher Lambert-esque character was in fact originally supposed to be played by Christopher Lambert, but he turned them down because he is smarter than them so they just went and dug up some vague Lambert lookalike.
Trillaphon: I really can't make heads or tails of the mystical fantasy world of Abelar, but it's pretty obvious that dramaturgy is considered a forbidden art.
Hydrogen: All of the dramaturges were rounded up and slaughtered in the Fourth Age of Gelgax by Oreon the Brawnful.
BREAKING NOW: a story so dangerous that there are those within our government that might kill to keep it from getting out.
Ma'am, what if I told you I have the miracle of a lifetime right here in this briefcase?
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.