> MAXIMUM ROMANCE ACHIEVED. ENGAGE RANDOM SCIENCE EPIGRAPH WHICH WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REST OF THE MOVIE.

> QUOTATION COMPLETE. OUR HERO IS DRIVING TO WORK AS A JANITOR

> ...

> OF THE FUTURE. DO NOT ASK WHY HE IS DRIVING A BEIGE 1984 PLYMOUTH RELIANT SEDAN WHEN THERE ARE FLYING JET BUSES ALL AROUND, HE JUST IS. REMINDER: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SELECTED MICHAEL DUDIKOFF.

> SELECT CHARACTER FLAW:

> YOU HAVE SELECTED “CRUSHING PAIN OF EXISTING ANOTHER DAY AS MICHAEL DUDIKOFF”. SELECT COPING MECHANISM:

> ABILITY UNLOCKED: SUPERHUMAN ALCOHOLISM. YOU ARRIVE AT WORK FOR A LEISURELY MORNING OF WATCHING PORNOGRAPHIC HOLOGRAMS IN THE BROOM CLOSET. WHOEVER RUNS THIS PLACE HAS EVEN WORSE TASTE IN PORNOGRAPHY THAN THE GUY FROM RECON 2022.

> WARNING! TERRORISTS ARE INVADING YOUR SAIGON WHOREHOUSE OFFICE BUILDING, LOOKING FOR SOME KIND OF SUPER COMPUTER VIRUS. A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS: BARBADIAN PRINCE WESLEY SNIPES.


> HE TALKS WITH A JAMAICAN ACCENT, PROBABLY BECAUSE THE DIRECTOR THINKS ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE FROM THE SAME COUNTRY. ELIMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE (Y/N)?

>> Y

> -10 POINTS. REASON: RACISM. HATE CRIME COMMENCING:

> NOBODY INTERRUPTS MICHAEL DUDIKOFF’S EROTIC SELF-INPUT/OUTPUT SESSION, AND LIVES.

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