Haymaker: And we’re just getting word of another match result - Deep Blue Kang has been eliminated by Silvio “Saskatchewan Fats” Shevchenko by technical montage submission:
The Vein: A spectacular set of dissolves on that falling Buttbarrow, Haymaker. I haven’t been this disoriented since Smokey “The Disembodied Hydraulic Fist” Lorenzo fought against the late, great Punchmotron at 300x speed.
Haymaker: And the excitement is palpable up in the EvilMicroCorp box, where they’ve just learned of another disqualification:
Haymaker: They want to make sure to really show off Brick’s cyber-enhancements, which is why they broke all of his opponents’ legs before the tournament so he never has to actually fight anyone.
The Vein: Just a smart move all around, Hank, and they’ve got the stock options pricing to prove it.
Haymaker: While they line up our next lucky victim, the numbers for this week’s Precog Redball Thought Crime Sweepstakes once again are: 01010100 01101001 01101101 00100000 01010100 01101000.
The Vein: If I hadn’t already sold my eternal soul to the late, great Howard Cosine for vocal coaching and insider trading tips, you can be sure I’d be putting it down on that sweepstakes, Hank.
Haymaker: I’m getting word that it’s almost time for our title bout to begin, and the crowd is raring to go! They’ll be talking for years about the Thrilla in Neo-Manila where the Vanilla Killa turned down the Scrilla and got his fiancee kidnapped by some goony Gorillas and now has to bust in some android’s Maxilla.
The Vein: In all my years of watching humans fighting robots fighting other robots for sport, this promises to be by far the least voluntary.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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