Hydrogen: Well, I think this brings us to the ultimate question: what's the deepest permanent mental scar we'll take away from this one?
Trillaphon: How about the uncomfortably long and completely non-verbal Skinemax-esque dog-necking scene, complete with keytar solo (and maybe some other music somebody might have masterfully/handsomely added later to possibly set the mood, allegedly)?
Trillaphon: Considering the lyrics and all the stupid legends about that song, along with the the insane sinister plot of this movie, that's like a quintuple entendre right there.
Hydrogen: I think I have to go with the polygender Scottish cannon fodder being promoted to field marshal after blowing up one bad guy, because that's how war works in the ocean:
Trillaphon: The real ultimate question is what improbable chain of events led to Legend of the Titanic having a goddamn sequel made.
Hydrogen: Follow-up ultimate question: how was it humanly possible to make a sequel to Legend of the Titanic that would end up scoring even lower than the original's 1.3/10 IMDB rating?
Trillaphon: The answer is somehow related to a grand finale involving putting the Titanic back together and parking it at a secret desert island that nobody can ever leave, and they're stuck hanging out with the products Satan's Infernal Toyshop having a 24/7 dance party forever.
Hydrogen: Oh man, what if all of the characters actually died and went to Hell, and the whole Titanic being saved thing from the last movie was just a cruel hallucination? This is some next-level shit.
|Music / Sound||-9|
This week, I'll be playing an '80s arcade rom rumored to be a CIA mind-control experiment. Please like and subscribe!
I'm thankful that the internet has a few more weeks of Net Neutrality protection before the inevitable outcome of deregulation comes to pass. I'll see you on Tier Basic, assuming you spring for the Limited Email Plan and your ISP hasn't throttled this domain.
Buy three Epic Loot Crates for only $7.99, get a free fourth loot crate for only $2.99!
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.