Hydrogen: The standout difference between this movie and Legend of the Titanic is that the talking animals don't save everyone on the ship. In fact, they're almost totally superfluous. We're not sure if that's an improvement, since it means that every scene involving the animals is a complete waste of time.
Trillaphon: Well, at least we don't have to deal with the kidnap-happy King of Atlantis and his army of sentient toys or the buff anime octopus that sank the ship accidentally while playing catch. Not to mention all those deeply unsettling references to radical involuntary surgery and horny dogs in disco hell.
Hydrogen: Speaking of dogs, the two Dalmatians who are about to have a bunch of puppies are a nice plagiaristic counterpoint to that lady who is a badly-traced copy of Cruella de Vil, complete with bumbling henchmen. Except that she doesn't give a shit about the dogs, she's just here to rob people.
Trillaphon: Don't forget the blood-crazed, crab-hating sadist chef from The Little Mermaid, the non-union Dutch Fievel equivalent who looks like he smokes enough kush to kill Cypress Hill's entire tour bus, and of course the Granny from Loony Tunes (only much more punchable). Maybe their plan to avoid being sued was to plagiarize so many different companies that they'd all get confused and start fighting each other over who gets to take them to the cleaners.
Hydrogen: Making unwatchable garbage that nobody would ever willingly pay money to watch was probably a much better defense against being sued, really.
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
"Don't you get it? What we have to understand is it's them or us. It can't be all of us, or one. It's got to be us, or they become it. Then we lose what makes us we."
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.