In order to provide robot-avoiding filler, Leigh Scott took it upon himself to write the best original characters since xXBishiTrunks667Xx's Megaman fanfic. There are a lot of characters in this thing, each part of a web of interpersonal relationships that I might have paid attention to if they weren't boring. They include:
And many more! You may have noticed that there's an abundance of females in the primary cast. Amazingly, most of these gals have character traits beyond "wants to get into Hero's tight Briton knickers." These threw Pow bitch.me for a loop too, as Transmorphers really feels like a low-budget porn, right down to rampant lesbianism. But it seems to hold fast to the idea that in the future, women be treated exactly the same as men and will therefore behave exactly the same as men, right down to masculine pronouns and a love of titties. Which is a nice sentiment, uhm I guess, but I've never seen girls get into a locker room slugfest over who has the best mascara. Or have I?????
Anyway, all of the extensive character interaction between these guys is filer,but it was filler I couldn't follow because I was too busy laughing at the audio track being completely out of sync. Yeah, In case you haven't been picking up on the subtle hints I've been slam-dunking, production values in this thing aren't the greatest. Eyeliner's hairstyle changes from scene to scene, robotic innards are portrayed via sticker, and heroes have the mysterious ability to bike through the rain without a drop of water on 'em!
In the last fifteen minutes we get a reasonable amount of some robots, but it isn't much of an apology. Honestly, Transmorphers is like a cheap porno flick without the porn. I almost felt uncomfortable watching a movie like this without titties flying everywhere. It was like I was missing an old friend.
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Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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