26. Graphic demonstration of the forbidden "egg jape"
27. Oral copulation performed in a bad dumbwaiter
28. Minor forced to witness a sporting mascot purchasing crack cocaine
29. Scenes of one or more sporting mascots smoking drugs with a helicopter
30. Sodomy on Good Helicopter performed by a sporting mascot while a minor is forced to watch
31. Minor willingly assisting in the disposal of a body at the behest of a police officer
32. Multiple human skulls appearing in the wrong location on Bad Lieutenant's airport X-ray
33. Bad Lieutenant grunting and gasping on toilet bowl with graphic splashing sounds
34. Human skulls in toilet bowl fished out and sold to teenagers
35. Prominent background image or images of a wizard nude from the waist down
36. Graphic description of a wizard masturbating himself onto a photograph of the President Eisenhower
37. Industrial robot programmed to inject testosterone into an erection
38. Parrot trained to speak blasphemy against the Catholic Church
39. Hostage forced at gunpoint to simulate oral copulation with a doorknob
40. Bowling ball painted like a testicle rolled into bowling pins arranged to spell out vulgar terms for the vagina
41. Basket containing Christmas ornaments flattened by steamroller
42. Harpoon gun used in prostate exam
43. Gravity defied repeatedly and without explanation, implying the use of sorcery
44. Car driven by Bad Lieutenant made out of human guts, runs on blood
45. Bad Sergeant stabbed in neck with shovel for not being bad enough
46. Bad Lieutenant "fake throws" ball for Golden Retriever
47. Elderly woman shoved into puddle
48. Sporting mascot married to Chinese woman in citizenship scheme orchestrated by Bad Lieutenant and Bad Helicopter with assistance from Bad Crustacean Notary
49. Kazoo used to frighten rape victim
50. Amish deceived into using computer disguised as plow by Bad Astronaut
51. Nearby tornado ignored by characters without consequence
52. Multiple characters call in sick to jobs despite not being sick
53. Chastity vows mocked
54. Good Helicopter destroyed with missile for filing taxes on time
55. Dean's car taken apart and reassembled in his office
56. Trigger discipline ignored by Bad Lieutenant during Russian Roulette game
57. Bad Astronaut admits plans to fake Mars Landing
58. Bad Helicopter and Bad Astronaut framed by Bad Lieutenant for cocaine that has disappeared from evidence room
59. Bad Lieutenant promoted to Bad Captain by Bad Commissioner after proving bad enough to rescue Bad President
There were originally plans for an entire trilogy based around the character of Bad Lieutenant, but these were scrapped when it was realized that there was no way to film an entire movie inside a dead white rhino's vagina. Without this key bridge in the second film, the third film (in which Bad Lieutenant meets Bad Time Traveler and erases history) would have been implausible.
The world doesn't make sense. We taxpayers have to buy breasts for genderbenders while our boys in uniform aren't even allowed to flamethrower anybody.
I have raised over $300 participating in quilting bees for the American Quilting Bee Society so I think I deserve at least seven minutes of your time.
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