Everybody wants to have meetings on TV. Obama wants to meet about health care with Republicans and I think they want to meet with Democrats about jobs or something. Nobody wants to meet with anybody else except at the meeting they came up with the idea for. It's so stupid. I hate everybody in Washington except for that gay dude who talks like Sylvester the Cat and Pat Leahy because he was in the last Batman movie. On the other hand it did own when Obama went to that Republican meeting and they were like "gotcha, you teleprompter bitch!" and he was like "Nope, I don't need teleprompters, you are the bitches." Ha ha, those meetings would be awesome if they were like that one. You remember that one? I forget what it was for.
|Fundraiser of the Living Dead|
CPAC is going on. I don't know what that stands for but I'm going to guess Conservative Party Are Conservatives. Best guess. Dick Cheney was there and somebody handed out Cheney 2012 stickers. Maybe we could get Cheney and Palin to run together in 2012 for some sort of dystopian nightmare scenario ticket that would be in an alternate history book where we somehow give nuclear missiles to the Spanish Inquisition.
I don't know about all those Tea Party people. Those dudes seem like if all the characters from Waiting for Guffman turned evil. Maybe not who we should ever listen to about anything ever. On the other hand, that's never stopped us before.
I was doing the dishes last night and I heard the TV say "Chris Dodd and Max Baucus" and I broke a glass and cut my hand. That probably means something.
|Exit the Wu-Tang from thee Air-Plane|
Mitt Romney got in a fight with a rapper on an airplane. The rapper was thrown off. The question remains, who started the fight? Who, who, who.
|To Kvetch to Some Predators|
Something about Israelis killing some guy in Dubai and they used British passports and Britain is pretending to be mad about it but only because Israel got caught. It's sort of hard to reconcile my opinions of American Jews with my opinion of Israeli Jews. I'm just going to call them High Elves and Wood Elves from now on to avoid that whole minefield.
|Prez Meets Lama|
Dalai Lama met with Obama. Everything I know about the Dalai Lama I learned from the Eddie Murphy vehicle Golden Child.
|Debate Getting Hotter, but is Planet?|
The climate is changing. Or is it? I guess the debate rages on and we can never be sure because there are equally believable people on both sides of this debate.
|I Don't Care|
There was a bunch of other stuff about the world but nobody cares about that place. Something about Nigeria maybe? I don't know.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.