This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.
BarnacleAge: 9 years old
Breed: Dogue De Bordeaux
Location: Shaggy Butte
Relationship Status: In a relationship with Blue Yonder
Posted by WheelWolf 2 months ago
I AM PROFOUNDLY DISABLED AND THIS DOG STARTED CHEWING ON THE TIRES ON MY MOTORIZED SCOOTER. WHEN I CALLED THE POLICE THEY CAME BUT ONCE THEY SAW IT WAS THE MAYOR'S DOG THEY ALLOWED HIM TO CONTINUE WHILE THEY WATCHED. HE SAT THERE THERE EATING MY TIRES WHILE I SCREAMED TO HIGH HEAVEN. I AM A FORGIVING SPIRITUAL PERSON WHO WORSHIPS CELESTIAL ORBS. THIS DOG WILL NEVER FIND THE HEAVENLY PEACE I HAVE.
Posted by WheelWolf 2 months ago
HE CAME BACK AND ATE TWO OF MY ORBS. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM NOW AND WILL HATE HIM FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS.
Posted by SensitiveGuy 2 month ago
Barnacle is sickening. He is spoiled rotten and his owner lets him get away with everything. Mayor Cobb is not a good pet owner, and I regret voting for him every election. The level of corruption in the dog community is so depressing, and I hope it never impacts good dogs like Hope.
The lack of law and order in the dog community is the main reason I have chosen not to have any children. It doesn't seem right to bring them into this world.
Posted by DogDreamer 29 days ago
I saw Barnacle putting the moves on Hope, and let me tell you, he's got no sense of romance. She was having none of it, and that just made him more aggressive. She got out of there before things turned real nasty, and they did. Blue Yonder arrived and the two had a pretty vicious fight... at least until they started going at it from a different angle. That Barnacle... he's got some proclivities. I didn't know dogs could do those kinds of positions and acts, and for so long. I finally had to leave after a couple hours because it was just too much.
Blue Yonder's going to be pretty hostile toward Hope I bet, and Barnacle isn't going to abide rejection. The Mayor's Dog gets what he wants. I'm pretty nervous about the future of this city, and have been circulating the idea of a recall election just so we can see Barnacle get what he deserves.
Posted by DogGoneIt 14 days ago
Folks, I Just realized it's the anniversary of Artie's public execution. Everyone in town knows it was Barnacle that defecated all over the parade floats, but Artie still got the blame. The way Mayor Cobb and the idiot city dog catcher colluded to pin it on Artie, who never hurt anyone, except some kids once, but that hardly matters. The public hanging still haunts me. Dog bodies weren't designed to be hung.
Posted by DogDreamer 3 days ago
I KNEW IT. I TOLD EVERYONE THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
Hope is dead now and Barnacle and Blue Yonder were both at the crime scene. Some people are saying it was Meathook or Hazard or Thriller or Corn but Barnacle and Blue Yonder both have motive, and Barnacle has a long history of getting away with crimes. It's only natural he'd want to try murder, the all time #1 crime.
Posted by Pawlease 3 days ago
Barnacle may have committed the murder in his heart, but I believe it was Caribe who carried out the act. Barnacle and Blue Yonder both seemed preoccupied with chomping at bees before the incident, but Caribe was spoiling for trouble.
Posted by TreatGuy 3 days ago
"Chomping at bees?" I guess you weren't paying attention with Barnacle and Blue Yonder were picking fights with Corn and Thriller. But then I guess you were there to watch the bees, not the dogs. LOL. In fact, about the only dogs they weren't fighting with were Meathook and his pack, but we all know those two have some kind of understanding. Even Meathook knows not to cross Cobb's dog.
Either way, it doesn't matter, because the Barquis de Sade was there and probably pulling the strings, using all those dogs as his psychosexual puppets.
Sooner or later one of us is going to have to man up and do what needs to be done: shooting all these bad dogs in the head. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to dispense the justice we're all pining for.
Posted by BigDog 2 days ago
Funny how you guys are ignoring Barnacle's past with Solstice, but then everyone is always trying to forget her. The only reason Barnacle would even put the moves on Hope would be to get back at Hazard, who was messing around with the much older Solstice after he and darling Hope had their spat. Barnacle hasn't forgotten that old hag, and continues to spend time with her on the down low. Killing Hope would be a good way send Hazard a message to mind his snout.
But then again, it's obvious who the real killer is. I deduced that much before Hope was even killed. Can't wait for you clowns to figure it out.
At least we're all in agreement about Barnacle. He's garbage. As far as corrupt dogs with strong political connections go, Barnacle's about as lame as they come. At least corrupt dogs like Canayne Rand, Karl Rover and Mao Zedog had some creativity. Eating tires? What's that all about?
Posted by Barkaholic 9 hours ago
Wouldn't surprise me one bit if he's our killer. I've hated this dog ever since he chewed up all those tires in the Walmart parking lot. Damn near got half the parking lot. And it's not like he just popped 'em and moved on. That dog ate so much rubber you could have bounced him around. And the cops did nothing after catching him in the act. They even told me they'd arrest me if I tried to stop him from eating any more tires. Some law enforcement. Still, it's Mayor Cobb or a democrat, so my back's against the wall here.
We clear up the BREXIT for confused Americans wondering why the global economy is collapsing this time.
BEEP! BOOP! ZAP! Video games aren't for my dad anymore! Because he's dead.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
The seedy canine underworld of Shaggy Butte is explored in this hard-hitting series combining obsessive pet fanatics and crowd-sourced internet reviews.