This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.




Caribe

Age: 8 Years Old
Breed: Pit Bull
Location: Shaggy Butte
Relationship Status: Single
Followers: 192


Posted by PoodleFur 3 days ago

This dog is a disgusting chauvinist pig. Not only did he bark at me, but he barked at several female dogs being walked down Main Street. Like he has any room to bark, considering he was stuck in a mailbox with his butt hanging out. It's no wonder none of the dogs in town want anything to do with him.

Posted by BarkStar 2 days ago

I'm trying to be less judgmental of the dogs around me and love them all for their faults. Caribe has been one of the more challenging dogs in town. While he's not as mean as Meathook or those sorts of dogs, he's just... *sigh* very misguided. I can forgive him for what he tried to do to my scooter, but I am having a hard time forgiving him for getting into my trailer and getting stuck inside my fish tank. I've had to revisit my longstanding policy of always keeping my front door open to welcome the outside world in.

Posted by Pawlease 9 hours ago

GUILTY. Guilty, guilty, guilty. I have hated this dog ever since the time he bit my undersides when I didn't know he was stuck in the bottom of the port-a-potty. He is a reckless, irresponsible monster and just the sort of beast that would kill a sweet, blameless angel like Hope. He belongs in jail forever.

Posted by DogDreamer 9 hours ago

What a joke of a dog. Seriously, this dog is pathetic. He had no business being in the same town as Hope, let alone the same dog park. This is the same dog that got stuck behind the deli glass in the grocery store, and was squirming around getting potato salad everywhere. They had to close the store for two days trying to get him out. Disgraceful!

I think we can rule him out as a suspect: he's too damn stupid to accomplish anything. Besides, the smart money's on Barnacle.

Posted by HuskyLover 8 hours ago

Caribe was at Slurry Creek Dog Park causing trouble, and I even saw him nip at Hope before the big fight broke out. I can totally see him being the killer. He's been trouble all his life, and everyone knows he's been trying to get in with Meathook. Killing a darling dog like Hope would finally prove he's the kind of stone-cold killer Meathook likes. I wouldn't be surprised if we don't see Caribe treading paw alongside Meathook and the rest of his pariah dog army, Hindsmell, Bile, Cleaver, Chamberpot, Monsanto and Murder Ballad.

Posted by DogGoneIt 8 hours ago

This is the dog that was stuck on the roof of CVS for three months, right? He was up there barking all the time, eating birds, p***ing off the edge? I remember the fire department finally brought the ladder in to get him down, but he had somehow disappeared. I once saw him pop out of the back of a garbage truck. I think he was in there for a while, because he immediately started doing his business and didn't stop for hours. If he killed Hope, I'm going to be so angry. He's not worthy of murdering such an amazing, beautiful, wonderful angel of a dog.

Posted by TreatGuy 7 hours ago

This dog's been wandering from one embarrassing situation to the next since the junkyard burned down. Maybe he was a great guard dog there, I don't know. But since then he's been so desperate for a new pack, it's ridiculous. I can see why dogs like Space Cult and White Boy would have nothing to do with him, and the way he's been trying to win over Meathook is depressing. But he'd be an idiot to think killing Hope would win favor with Meathook. Meathook's wanted her since he was a pup.

Frankly, I still think the Barquis de Sade killed Hope. Meathook and his ilk may be bad dogs, but the Barquis de Sade is an evil dog.

Posted by Randy F 6 hours ago

WAS GLASSING SLURRY CREEK INCIDENT WITH BINOCS FROM UNDISCLOSED LOCATION. COULDN'T MAKE OUT CULPRIT AMIDST CHAOS AND BEES, BUT DEFINITELY SAW CARIBE IN THE MIX. WAS TOO SHOCKED TO MAKE PROPER NOTES, SO REPORT OF INCIDENT IS UNRELIABLE.

4:15 CARIBE TRIES TO BITE HOPE'S TAIL

4:16 HOPE BARKS AT HIM. SEE WHAT APPEARS TO BE SOMEONE IN A GILLY SUIT ADVANCING ON HOPE. CLEAVER IS ALSO GETTING INVOLVED.

4:17 BEE LANDS ON MY HAND, HAVE TO SHOE IT OFF

4:18 RETURN TO VIEWING, BUT BATTLE IS ALREADY IN PROGRESS.

4:19 BEGIN MUTTERING "DEAR GOD NOT AGAIN" TO MYSELF.

4:22 DOGS RUNNING IN EVERY DIRECTION. GILLY SUIT MAN ALSO RUNNING. REALIZE IT'S OZARK. HOPE LEFT BEHIND, DEAD.

TOO MANY TEARS TO CONTINUE REPORT.

Posted by WolfPound 6 hours ago

He's a really terrible dog. I remember when he got stuck inside a plastic laundry basket for two weeks. It was upside down, and he was wearing it like a turtle shell. I tried to take him out be he just barked and growled until I left him alone. Stupid dog. Gives the other canines in this town a bad name.

Posted by ELMO STEPHENS 5 hours ago

HELLO I DO NOT LIKE THIS DOG. HE WAS VERY SCARY AND STUCK INSIDE A CORDUROY PANT WHEN I FIRST SAW HIM AND HE MADE THIS AWFUL SWISHING SOUND WHEN HE WALKED AND KEPT HOWLING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN DOGS ARE STUCK INSIDE HUMAN PANTS AND CAN'T GET OUT. I SAW HIM GET BIT BY CLEAVER AT THE PARK BUT MAYBE THEY WERE JUST PLAYING.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

About this series

The seedy canine underworld of Shaggy Butte is explored in this hard-hitting series combining obsessive pet fanatics and crowd-sourced internet reviews.

Other articles in this series

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.