This article is part of the Memos from Bear Cave series.

TO: Employees of Bear Cave Soup Co.

DATE: March 9, 1979

SUBJECT: NEW HIRE

I have personally hired Manuel Rodriguez to handle the cleaning of the company washrooms. The reason I have never entrusted this task to any man other than myself is that until now I have never met anyone qualified to do as competent a job. Mr. Rodriguez has the drive and zeal to vigorously scrub those toilets, and I am excited to watch him work. Mr. Rodriguez will be reporting directly to me and will answer only to me. He will be letting me know if any irregularities he encounters in bathroom usage, so don't think you can get away with murder in there.

During his first week, nobody is to bother me or talk to me at all. I will be busy shadowing Mr. Rodriguez.


TO: Employees of Bear Cave Soup Co.

DATE: March 9, 1979

SUBJECT: Clarification About Washroom Protocol

Just because Mr. Rodriguez will be in charge of cleaning the bathrooms does not mean he has discretion to authorize any toilet flushes. If you read my memo from earlier today, you'll see I never stated anything to that effect. If you want a flush, you still have to ask me. I will never surrender that right for as long as I own this company.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

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About this series

Memos sent from Bear Cave Soup's eccentric president to his poor, beleaguered employees.

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