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Located in hyperbolic space, Haribo Occidental College's students and buildings are points on a billion-sided, gelatinous, stellated megahedron called the Gummi Knowledge Star. Time as we understand it does not exist in this space, so the troughs of Riemannian waves emanating from unknown (possibly 36 Chambers-related) anti-dimensions constitute semesters and the irregular crests created by the tidal forces of singularities represent vacation breaks.
When the time comes (and it exists always and never) to cut loose no one does it quite like the party animals at Haribo. All points/students/faculty/buildings converge to a single zero point which corresponds to a sidereal multimath all-point located on ever penis, clitoris, and glass of beer in the material universe. In this way Haribo exists as a constant, beer-chugging, unisexual orgasm.
This might explain how Haribo replaced last year's top-rated University of Arizona from the number one spot, folded space-time, and deposited them at the number ten position on our list.
Expert analysis on the few things your cat likes and the many things it hates.
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.