This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.
Hey, hey chumps!
BiGDOG on the left, Barkwire on the right. Care to place your bets?BiGDOG here to drop some more knowledge on you.
As some of you know, I had a falling out with the assholes running BarkWire.com (aka PussyWire.com) recently. Those guys can't handle the slightest bit of criticism it seems. This puts them on the same level as Dogcharts.com, K9konnect.com, and thedogspot.net. In other words: this puts them on top of BiGDOG's shit list!
Don't worry your pretty little heads, because it's only a matter of time before a massive outcry of public support forces the jerks at BarkWire to let the BiGDOG back in! I'm pretty much the cornerstone of their lil' rinky-dink community anyway. Without me, nobody would know a dog like Vermin from a dog like Mighty Saratoga.
BiGDOG just saw THE DARK KNIGHT in theaters. Gotta say, wasn't impressed. Batman fights a bunch of dogs, but they weren't anything exceptional. Most of the time the dogs get the better of him. So much for Batman being the ultimate badass. Would have loved to see THE DARK KNIGHT go up against a Bernese Mountain Dog or a St. Bernard. Now that would have made for a damn good fight! Guess they might be saving that for a sequel. Wouldn't blame 'em.
I will give them credit for casting a dog in a leading role. Too bad she was the love interest! Heh, just tellin' it like it is.
In short, wait for this one to come out on HD-DVD.
Ran into a dog named Fastidious the other day. Let's just say BiGDOG has seen chew toys with more personality. His owner thought it would be a good idea to dress him in a little sweater. I laughed my ass off at that sorry mutt and his silly little outfit. His owner got upset, so I just flipped him the bird and kept on laughing. If you're going to take a joke of a dog like that out in public, then you gotta deal with ridicule. Freedom of speech, assholes. Look it up in the dictionary.
Anyways, Fastidious gets BiGDOG'S Golden Stinker Award. Congrats, you furry mess!
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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