This article is part of the Barkwire.com series.
Yours truly keeps his eyes on the prize, always looking for terrific new (and old) dogs to spot. Here's this week's muttly crew:
Ding, ding, ding! A new contender enters the game.
Saw Berlin trotting around the town looking sharp as a razor. Clean form, shiny coat, and good size. Seemed smart and responsive to commands. Definitely one top notch Border Collie. I just hope Berlin has the sense to wait out the conflict raging in town. Look folks, we may be looking at, get this, the next Malmesbury. Really, he's that good a dog.
Even BiGDOG's top dog of all time, Panzer, would be impressed with Berlin.
BiGDOG's been hearing a lot of talk about a dog supposedly driving around town in a truck. Let me be the first to say: you people are goddamn idiots. The day a dog drives a truck is the day BiGDOG adopts a fluffy cat. You're seeing things, people.
In other news, there's been a lot of talk about a new dog in town. BiGDOG's been doing his best to figure out who this new dog is, but is coming up empty. BiGDOG's not one to guess, but I can't help but wonder if this new dog has anything to do with the newly formed alliance of Senator's crew, Scar, Danger, Sulphur, and The Gambler. BiGDOG's gonna speculate even more: Could this be the CIA Dog from El Cráneo Negro's past?
And finally, I just got word that the inexplicably beloved Bug died of a heart attack. What a wimp.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
The seedy canine underworld of Shaggy Butte is explored in this hard-hitting series combining obsessive pet fanatics and social networking.