INT. ADVANCED ROBOTICS RECOVERY ROOM - Day
The room is full of all kinds of computers and sensors. A hologram of a robot frame and arms and legs is hanging over Steve's bed. A HOT ASIAN NURSE is looking at a computer screen next to his bed. Doctor Rebuilder and Georgia Austin enter.
Steve. Steve...it's mom. Can you hear me?
Steve stirs on the bed.
Steve, honey. Wake up. It's okay. It's time to wake up.
(sitting bolt upright)
NEW SHOE? NEW SHOE?
Steve kicks Doctor Rebuilder into a bank of machines and glass. Sparks shoot out. The Doctor is alive but hurt.
CAN I HAVE A POKEMAN? PICKACHU GO PIKA PIKA. CAN I GET MOMMY? POKEDEX FILL UP GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL WEEOOO WEEOOOO WEEOOOOO I'M A AMBU-AMBU-AMBU I'M A FIRETRUCK! VROOOM!
Yes you are baby, you're mommy's little Pokeman Firetruck.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.