This article is part of the Sing Pappy series.

Dear M. Usher,

my heart is light as sugar cotton today! After four days outside Bebe Bieber done come on up to get him a drink from de spicket on de hose pipe. I knew if de hunger wasnt fast enough de thirst would get to him sooner.

After he had hisself a drink he sang some of a song about biting. Called "Bite a Girl" it was a bit different from Baby, de same melody and girlish manner, but about biting a girl's hands. He said his fan is a tween. I gwon a tween de swamp and de Baton Rouge if a storm is comin or I need de diesel.

Later in the night he listened to me sing de Acadian song "Neck Rag" about puttin de wet rag on ya neck when de heat gets too fierce. Bebe seemed to like hims de song so I sing "Maw's Tasso" and "Betty Gwon De Roof Tonight" until he fell asleep.

Gwon leave him untied tonight on account of de trust.

Buddy Breaux

Sing Pappy


Dear M. Usher,

M. Usher, I am so sorrowful. De Bebe was left untied last night in an ill advised decision upon my behalfs. It would seem he was either et by de cocodrie or he got away. Now I suspect de latter, on account of no smiling cocodries or floating trucker hats, which is no less bad.

I have called everyone I know in ten miles who aint accustomed to tall tales and Jolbert Polecat told me he seen de Bebe headed straight for de Today Show. I had some stunna shades and gold chains he left in de pen, so I gave dem to de dogs and they is off huntin.

Will give you a call soon as I got de word.

Buddy Breaux
Sing Pappy


Dear M. Usher,

Frogger Gauxtreaux called me up thanks to de god. Drove over in de morning and found de Bebe asleep in de radish patch. Musta eat tenna twelve hot radishes and falled asleep. Had a fierce bite ready, but we was de whole of de crew. Got him tied up and took back to de house.

Would seem a setback, but de Gauxtreaux farm is scarce on two miles from de house. He runned off, sure as shampoo, but he dont run far mean he want to be hea. Start de accordion tonight and gwon teach hims de Rolly Bug song I wrote up for hims new album.

Get hims some yawm yawm peppers. He will sure be ready for de next Kids Choice Award.

Buddy Breaux
Sing Pappy


– Buddy Breaux, Sing Pappy (@sexyfacts4u)

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About this series

A Cajun bayou-dweller who educates singers, notably Justin Bieber, on the ways of music and life.

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Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.