Some celebrity cars are keeping up appearances, some even look better than they have in years with a little help from Maco, like Helen Mirren's gorgeous 1989 Mazda Miata, but these celebrity clunkers are just disgusting. They make us want to vomit. You won't believe these celebrity cars are even allowed to leave the garage. Just disgusting.
You'd probably pay more for the pizza than this dinged-up trash heap. Bought while on the set of Dick Tracy, it's looking these days more like Dick Naaaaasty. What were you using this for, Al? Hauling stink bugs? Good grief.
Boogie Nights babe Heather Graham needs to boogie down to a junkyard and call it a night. She couldn't trade this clunker in for a roller skate. Is that a sun roof or a hole for the ejector seat? Pull up! Pull up! Too late...
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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