KeithToday was my sleep-in day. Well, everyday is a sleep-in day, but today is the end of daylight savings. I planned my schedule around that extra hour. I even stayed up super late last night watching Comedy Central. But Keith, the asshole who lives a floor below me, forgot to fix his alarm clock. I can hear that talk radio blaring from here. I'm not due at the Obama rally till 2, but I'm already up. Bah, he always does shit like this. If only there was some way to get his attention.
Go downstairs to Keith's apartment and remind him about daylight saving time.
Use life savings to buy a brick of cocaine. Strap drugs to an actual brick. Throw brick through Keith's window while making an anonymous phone call to local DEA agents informing them of a dangerous dealer.
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.