KeithToday was my sleep-in day. Well, everyday is a sleep-in day, but today is the end of daylight savings. I planned my schedule around that extra hour. I even stayed up super late last night watching Comedy Central. But Keith, the asshole who lives a floor below me, forgot to fix his alarm clock. I can hear that talk radio blaring from here. I'm not due at the Obama rally till 2, but I'm already up. Bah, he always does shit like this. If only there was some way to get his attention.
Go downstairs to Keith's apartment and remind him about daylight saving time.
Use life savings to buy a brick of cocaine. Strap drugs to an actual brick. Throw brick through Keith's window while making an anonymous phone call to local DEA agents informing them of a dangerous dealer.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
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