1300 Breakwynn Rd.
Hermanville, CA 93112
November 20, 2007
Mr. Michael Marshall
Dear Mr. Marshall,
I am writing concerning your position of Director of Long-term Financial Planning at Hancock and Marshall Inc. As a recent college graduate, I know I have the energy and verve to "get in the game" and "tackle" this position so well that for every twenty cents spent you'll get a "quarterback", but now I need to convince you of that. I will do so, in this letter.
Here are some reasons why I would be perfect for this job:
I am smart and ambitious, and I love working jobs. Furthermore, I believe that my BA in Religious Studies will help me be a better part of your financial corporation, because A) I understand the philosophies of various world religions which is a lot like working in the financial world and B) I understand that money is just a social construct so I won't freeze up and get nervous when there's lots of it at stake. I understand that losing a bunch of money is only a problem if we as a society agree it's a problem, and I have a working understanding of both the advantages and disadvantages of a Marxist system.
In terms of work experience, I have done extensive work involving money, and my register count was always exactly what it should be. I also have some volunteer experience in the form of passing out fliers for my friend's band and he didn't pay me for it. He was supposed to pay me for it, but he didn't, and I will apply the lessons learned from that situation directly into my new job as Director of Long-term Financial Planning.
I hope you consider my attached resume, and thanks for this fantastic job opportunity, that I could definitely see myself still working at and expanding my career within your company in five years in case you were wondering. Thanks again.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.