North American Panopticon is pleased to wish all tier 1 through tier 6 inmate services employees and their families a Merry Christmas or Appropriate Holiday Tiding. Tier 7 and higher inmate services employees will be receiving silver or gold box year-end awards depending on their performance.----ATTENTION ALL INMATE SERVICES EMPLOYEES----
In observation of CHRISTMAS we will be deactivating all capital processing centers for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Please remember to open the flues at all remains processing facilities to allow SANTA CLAUS down the ash effluent stacks.
Due to CODE EPSILON conditions prevailing at Sunny Valley Offshore Correction Platform, all tiers of inmate services are exempted from holiday services and allowed to employ the Almighty's Vengeance to suppress riot conditions.
For 2007 HOLIDAY CORRECTIONS MENUS please enter your tier 3 or higher calamity code and continue to NUTRITION OUTPUT briefing.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.