Super Sexy Warrior Lady (HOT!)
This bold broad doesn't have to axe your permission to get what she wants. She's a brassy bag and she has the NURBs to prove it. Carefully rendered down to individual hairs and diamond-gems of butt sweat, this warrior woman, nicknamed christine.spr (A .sphere file also works in ORBUS 3D or upload her to VIRTUWORLD as your Personus) will come to life for your home or office.
If you load her onto your TV she will do a strip tease. Interact with various characters from fantasy books. Control her with a keyboard and drafting tablet and a processor farm to render images. Send her on quests to recover the magic sphere from the castle of numbers guarded by the weird mercury wizard. Have her take off her pants and dominate you with her beautiful butt.
You can also upload her over the standard personal assistant program on your desktop and she will ask you questions. Use with voice activation and say, "CHRISTINE, MY BUTT QUEEN, I OBEY YOUR EVERY WHIM. PLEASE OPEN WINWORD.EXE. NEW PARAGRAPH, MY QUEEN."
Acts now and receive three additional hair styles: spaghetti, gritty motionless afro and piled up on her head and clipping through her helmet. $2000 (was $10000)
Ultimate Virtual Reality Environment
Sure, you could enjoy these Cyber Monday doorbusters on your regular PC. You could download them to your laptop computer. That's fine. Not. If you want to roll with the big boys of virtual reality you need a serious rig.
The UVRE (Ultimate Virtual Reality Experience) consists of 18 sensors, a body strap, a perspiration sensor, a catheter, goggles, headphones, haptic wrist and ankle bands, a 5-face projection cube and enough room for two to four people to enjoy a virtual reality. The UVRE ships with five environments (desert, moon, chessboard, spinning realm of spheres, blackness with numbers flying overhead) but you can modify any to include your own spheres or metal men or anything else. The only limit is your imagination and thousands of hours of programming and rendering and the computer equipment that was built in 1997.
Prepare to enter the next level. Due to the closing of the manufacturer (True VR Amusements) in 2001, a fire at the warehouse in 2003, severe water damage at Kyle's house in 2005, and a severe mishap involving too many orbs, there are only three of these units available and no replacement parts. Great for moms. $9999 (was $PRICELESS)
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.