Dear Joss Whedon, I'm ready to write for Dollhouse

You can take away her identity, but you can't rob her of her butthalves.That's just some basic long term character and plot building dialogue. No big deal. I'm a total pro so I could write like 10 to 75 pages of that as needed.

I can do that sort of thing for any show, but Dollhouse is special. Each episode's story is usually determined by the needs of the client established near the beginning of the first act.

INT. BRITISH LADY'S OFFICE - DAY

BRITISH LADY is speaking with a CLIENT interested in hiring a hooker.

CLIENT

I have very...special needs.

BRITISH LADY

We have very...special hookers.

CLIENT

Excellent. I need a woman who think she's a centaur.

BRITISH LADY

Consider it done.

CLIENT

And she's a lawyer.

BRITISH LADY

Child's play.

CLIENT

And she thinks she has three buttholes.

BRITISH LADY

Now you're talking...(passes a folder to the client) I think you will find the buttholes on this girl... more than satisfactory.

The Client opens the folder. ZOOM in on a photograph of Echo.

CLIENT

We'll see how satisfactory those buttholes are...

Commercial OUTRO with ECHO wiggling around naked and blowing in the wind.