The Pitch: Dad humiliate yourself for my brand. I hate you, dad. Sissy dad. Piss for my brand? America watch diaper fill. Smear on mouth. Rat press button. I'D FUCK ME.
The Pitch: Olds are slaves for grease to put in tracts. Death to mind. Death to body. Intake fourthmeal. Hardbody club DJ fun. Expel fifthmeal.
The Pitch: BUY DRINK HAVE FUN LIFE. WOMAN OBJECT STIMULATE MATING INSTINCT. BUY DRINK. NEW BEER. DRINK THIS, MY LORD. BUY.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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