The Pitch: Dad humiliate yourself for my brand. I hate you, dad. Sissy dad. Piss for my brand? America watch diaper fill. Smear on mouth. Rat press button. I'D FUCK ME.
The Pitch: Olds are slaves for grease to put in tracts. Death to mind. Death to body. Intake fourthmeal. Hardbody club DJ fun. Expel fifthmeal.
The Pitch: BUY DRINK HAVE FUN LIFE. WOMAN OBJECT STIMULATE MATING INSTINCT. BUY DRINK. NEW BEER. DRINK THIS, MY LORD. BUY.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.