The Pitch: Dad humiliate yourself for my brand. I hate you, dad. Sissy dad. Piss for my brand? America watch diaper fill. Smear on mouth. Rat press button. I'D FUCK ME.
The Pitch: Olds are slaves for grease to put in tracts. Death to mind. Death to body. Intake fourthmeal. Hardbody club DJ fun. Expel fifthmeal.
The Pitch: BUY DRINK HAVE FUN LIFE. WOMAN OBJECT STIMULATE MATING INSTINCT. BUY DRINK. NEW BEER. DRINK THIS, MY LORD. BUY.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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