This week, my update consists entirely of this audio file, for some reason. If you're new to the internet, please click the big triangular button on the embedded object below to begin playing it. If at any time you become dissatisfied with the content therein, you may elect to leave the room and do something more useful with your time. Thank you.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Call of Duty Advanced Warfare promises to up the ante on Kevin Spacey's face in a video game.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.