let me tell you what happened.
"guys watch this.
hey cat ffffFFFFFFuck youuuuuuu!!!
sittin in the grass. wing borkled. waitin to die.
waitin to die is boring. gonna sing a song.
chirpchirpCHIRPchirpchirpCHIRP whoaaa that's a lotta blood
getting a wicked high off blood loss when some goon grabs me and puts me in his goonsack.
rollin around in the goonsack, thinkin bout robins with bomb ass titties
put me in a tub swabbed some goonpaste on my wing. tried to flap the crap outta there but went into a wicked spiral like some dumbshit crow. man i bet that loud ass crow i know would like to see me now
hey you! stay away from my wife... know your place crow!!!!
man i need to take a fuggin snooze. yeah goon IVE SEEN YOUR VIDEO GAMES sheesh we can chill with some animes later
turn that light off. bird out.
woke up in a cardboard box again. thought i went on a bender with them hummingbirds but my poohole wasn't bleeding. yet
nectar gives me fire cheeks
think i'll just chillax here. i chirpchirpchirp in in comes the food FUDGE YEAH never knew i liked burritos
when i get outta here peeps will ask me if i missed my wife and i'll say yeah but then i'll whisper YEAH I MISSED HER NAGGING THE SHIT OUT OF ME
"hey pick up that stick for our nest" yeah listen that stick's a piece of garbage like yer deadbeat brother. get him outta HERE don't care bout his dead leaves
then when he leaves i'll say "egg-cellent." put that on a t-shirt. THEN GET OUTTA MY WAY CUZ I TANGLED WITH A CAT AND LIVED HOMBRE
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.