Likely you have been hit in the head, fallen on your head, shot in the head. Possible that an object is lodged through your head, like a rail spike or a tent pole, or an arrow. It may be broken off on both sides so you cannot see where it was. You probably have no memory of what happened to your head, because the head injury makes you forget. Your head may be bleeding or soft when you touch it. You may be able to feel around inside your head. If you feel a soft place inside, press on it. You may smell imaginary smells or remember things you had forgotten, or you might twitch or buck. You have pressed on your brain, but it is OK! Just don't pull off any bits. If you have pulled off bits, save them or eat them.
We will fix your head with NO bandages, NO doctor visits, NO surgery. Call now for pills that will heal your bleeding head and grow back the bits of brain you pulled out.
Evolution: nature's beautiful blooming! Life becomes new life as the species adapt to the new challenge. But sometimes& it can go wrong. As medical professionals, we do not judge or mock you, but our first thing to consider in this diagnosis is: what did you do that nature saw fit to make you a dog? Did you lie lazy on your couch from night to noon? You eat from the floor? Eat from bowl, food still canshaped when you plop it in? Lick yourself? These things conspire to make nature evolve you backwards. Now you are becoming a dog. Maybe, if you buy drugs fast enough and choose a fast shipping, we can stop you before you are more than halfway a dog. Likely you will wind up a little bit like a dog; ears, woof, etc. Not serious advanced dogism unless you pay less for a slower shipping.
Our special discount: buy a complete turning into a dog cure package! We include medicine to prevent you from being a dog, a whistle to test if you are a dog yet, fish oil for your coat and a special brush to help you look your best even if the worst may happen.
Muchos fanks to Bruno Medeiros for the DoctorsWeb design!
Emma Stone was the most paranoid person I had ever met. In private she wore a full suit of medieval armor at all times, visor down.
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