She's into you, like, really, really into you, and once she wipes the vomit off her face, she isn't that bad. The girl makes a lot of moves on you, and you immediately forget about the paper.
You stumble back to your dorm, passing the still wrecked car. The police don't notice you though, they seem busy watching the body bag getting lifted into the ambulance. Idiots.
Once you get to the room, you realize the girl is actually a transgendered guy. Oh well. By this time next month, you'll have failed out of school, but tonight it's time for unprotected sex
Natural and supernatural horrors mount on an expedition to an island music festival for the wealthy.
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.