This article is part of the Five Dollar Art Treasures series.


Dalmation Dog * Original ACEO Painting * PUPPY pl Look by ekd206

click to enlarge
Price: US $0.99
Dimensions: 2.5 x 3.5 inches
Medium: Acrylic
Seller's Description: "Dalmation Puppy I'm a lovable puppy with lots of funny spots. All I need is a new home."


ALWAYS BLUE ORIGINAL Watercolor Painting JENSEN ACEO $$
by geeperskeepers

click to enlarge
Price: US $0.99
Dimensions: 2.5 x 3.5 inches
Medium: Art card
Seller's Description: "This WHIMSICAL watercolor creation will make a WONDERFUL addition to your cherished aceo collection. Painted on 140 lb bright white watercolor paper. SO NICE! You will SEE the QUALITY!!! Designed and Painted by Watercolor Artist MAUREEN ANNE JENSEN "
We Say

"Welcome to the seagull of the mouth." - Morphus, Matrix Movie

A froggy-goggled horror crowds the frame of Maureen Anne Jensen's latest Boschian Bratz nightmarescape. The sort of artwork Japan would be producing if we had dropped a third or fourth atom bomb, mom can appreciate that alternate time line with the help of this watercolor.


Marilyn Manson Original Watercolor Painting by moonflowermeds

click to enlarge
Price: US $2.99
Dimensions: 11 x 15 inches
Medium: Watercolor
Seller's Description: "This is an original watercolor painting on paper by me, Geo! The size is 11" x 15". The subject is our favorite shock rocker god Marilyn Manson (Brian Warner)! The wonderful thing about having a watercolor portrait of Marilyn Manson is that he, too, paints in watercolor!"
We Say

Now is the time to invest in Marilyn Manson (Brian Warner!) artwork, because it can only go up in value! It doesn't matter whether your mom loves goofy horror rocker Marilyn Manson or not; this portrait should be considered an investment in your future. Imagine if ten or fifteen years from now Mr. Manson discovers a new way to be controversial.

Let's say he makes a Youtube video about leather communist gender-reassigned technocrats showing Faces of Death and porno to the Dalai Lama while Michelle "Bombshell" McGee walks around on stilts. It will receive hundreds of views and the market for amateur photo-duplication portraits will skyrocket into 5.99 to 7.99 territory. And mom will thank you for it.


Venne Original ACEO - Mr. Peanut Singing in the Rain
by davidvenne
click to enlarge
Price: US $3.99
Dimensions: 2.5 x 3.5 inches
Medium: Art card
Seller's Description: "Mr. Peanut Singing in the Rain by David Venne Hand drawn with Pen and Ink (not a print) The silver metallic highlights look really cool on this card but must be seen to be appreciated."
We Say

Have a cum, Mr. Peanut. Have several all over your hat. Lewdly watered by jism, the ritzy legume of David Venne's vision will remind your mom of organic methods for processing a nut. Silver metallic highlights really make the raining sperm pop.


MUSCLE PHYSIQUE HUNK RECLINES orig gay art BILLY THRASH
by clb123260
click to enlarge
Price: US $0.99
Dimensions: 11 x 9 inches
Medium: Watercolor
Seller's Description: "BILLY THRASH watercolor on paper size is roughly 9by 11 inches. gladly combine shipping so save by buying additional pieces."
We Say

The masters of Renaissance sculpture meet their match in Billy Thrash's daring "MUSCLE PHYSIQUE HUNK RECLINES orig gay art." Thrash boldly declares that the nude male form is intended purely for homosexuals - sorry mom! - but that's no reason your gay family members can't enjoy Thrash's achievement in tumid physicality.

Gap-toothed and gawping, Thrash's David is a reclining hayseed with a downcast, disapproving phallus. Another figure either recedes or emerges in the background, leaving it to the viewer to discover in themself whether Thrash's erotic cup is half empty or half full.


Every installment of Five Dollar Art Treasures we single out one very special painting that is too good of a deal to be passed up. We call it our GREAT BUY.

$$ GREAT BUY $$

ART NAKED NUDE PAINTING ORIGINAL ON CANVAS GAY
by buyingmanythings

click to enlarge
Price: US $5.99
Dimensions: 5 x 7 inches
Medium: Acrylic
Seller's Description: "This is an original on canvas, size 5"X7." Title is BNB Close-Up #25A. It was done with acrylic paint. Part of this picture was covered."
We Say

Gay? It would appear this piece was intended for everyone. We say it's the bargain of the week on ebay for original art-shoppers, gay or not, so get your paypal accounts ready and secure one of the finest three-color paintings of butts and genitals ever offered up for auction. The way we react to this piece says more about us than the artist. Will we laugh? Recoil? Cheer the butts? Far more than simple art, these butts will become a Rorschach for every visitor to your house.


We are always on the lookout for more bargain art. If you spot a painting worth including in a future installment please send me an email.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

About this series

Other articles in this series

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.