Your Truly is given to liking all creatures of the ocean! VACATION 07 CALIFORNIAThis is not all for adventure. After I secure Latinos votes for Hillard Clinton wife type and new American President I am indulge in secret passion. This is most powerful passion of all so I must be very serious as I explain this to you reader types.
This passion I am given to feeling is the passion of the miracles of births. The baby is born from the mother, but the mother is special it is not a woman type it is a turtle type of mothers. I am knowing you are giving the scoff at my dreams of given to witness the precious birth of a turtle family. I am telling you, “Back off!” I love a turtle and I am not ashamed as the grown up man to tell you this fact.
The turtle of the sea is very in danger. People are making them into soups, they are making the shells into the body armor for a knight, perhaps the shield for a large turtle shell to parry the trident. This is such a waste of lives.
Most sad of all, I am telling you gentle reader types, is the birth times of the baby turtles. This is a time when the turtle of the sea must burst forth from the sand of the beach. They are just the tiniest baby. They must flop their flippers up and down and struggle to run for the water of the sea. Over the top of their heads, watching them with the evil intent, is the seagull who does not see a baby turtle is just a cute feast for his belly. Friend bird, I warn you, if I am to catch you in your transgressing I will given a whoop of warrior’s heart and administer swift blows to your beaks.
This is my journey. I am watching The Learningest Channels to see the good spots and I am in horrors when I see the slaughters on the beach. I quake with outrage at the television man who talks in the calm voice and the man with the cameras do NOTHING to stop the seagulls preying on the baby turtles. This aggressions will not stand!
I am guiding the boatman to the coves.So when I am telling you I am done with the Clinton types I am going straight to the docks. I am saying to Sombrero Largo, “Excuse me, friend, I am going to the docks now to see the ocean.” He is suspecting something is up, but Sombrero Largo is always with the womans on his thoughts, so he is thinking I am up to the same plots.
When I am arriving at the docks I give a shout to the boatsman and say, “You! Boatsman! Take me upon your boats so that I might find a turtle cove!” The boatsman is agreeing at a hefty price. We are scouting about all of the day. I am thinking after many hours in the hottest of climates that this will be a journey without fruits.
Then, there it is! I spy upon the coast the familiar shapes of the turtles. These are very large turtles, many times the size I am expecting. The boatsman is taking me to their hidden cover and the turtles are very friendly. They bark at me some, which is the shock to hear, but also a laugh. They do not bite but Yours Truly does not touch them because I am knowing from the shows that you do not interfere with nature.
SHHHH! THE MAGIC it is begun!Soon the night is falling all over the place and I am beginning to patrol the beach awaiting the miracles to begin. There are many of the falsest alarms. There! A turtle! No, it is just the humble hermit crab clacking his way down the street of sands. There! No, it is just some bags on a log, so much trash. I clean it up while I am at it!
Then it is moonlight and very romantic. A magical time is in the airs when suddenly, the ground shakes, the wind stops blowing, and there is a burst as the first of the baby turtle is given to begin the emerging. In the immediate time I am setting up my outpost near this beautiful events to protect the turtle babies from the onslaught. There are many of the little fellows who come from the sand. It is not the sand giving birth, I know it may seem like it. In the actual fact the mother turtle put an egg in the sand and then it hatched to make the babies come out of the beach.
There are perils! Many times the seagull is landing and trying to attempt the rudos maneuver on baby turtle friend. This activity is encountered with my righteous fists which are punching the seagull high into the sky and away from in dangering my turtle friends. They flip and flop and do the little runs to the waves. It is the most magical thing I am given to witness in the times since Weather Predator Cats break up tag team over breaking up of hearts with the loves triangle. The energy is intensity.
At last the last of the turtle is gone into the sea where there is nothing but safeties and the warm waters of the oceans to protect and serve. Yours Truly is feeling his bosom to swell up with the prides. Like a new papa!
This is being the story of how I am helping Hillard get into being the American President, but more important to me, this is the stories of all the turtles who I am saving. God bless them all and may they have a journey forever into happiness.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.