Hi, I'm Bronson Custard and I want to welcome you to the hottest escort review site on the Internet. Our reviews are all written by the clients of these fine ladies. If you're looking for a companion in your area and don't feel you can trust the reviews of professional escort critics, then you've come to the right place!
We have thousands of escort profiles available, so I'm sure you will find just what you're looking for! Remember, have fun, and be safe!
|Names: Beef Singlet, Bacon Lettuce, Her Majesty Dire|
Areas: Cleveland, Burningham, West Maw
Height: 71 inches
Weight: 864 ounces
Hair: Head, mostly
Face: British, mantid
Eyes: Brown, tilted
Bust: Some around the edges
|thasniffer||YES||Great smells! Touched my hand and breathed in a bag for hours. Like a rat rotting in an oak barrel. Came twice! Loves to talk about meth.|
|megamex||YES||She's not the best looking girl, but she makes up for what she lacks in looks with a chittering blowjob that never snagged once despite all the hooked teeth. Puked into my glove compartment.|
|KINGSEX||NO||Look like someone tried to make a mask out of an egg. Toes up the back. "FROG IT IT!"|
|thrillho||YES||Great kisser. Shared her breakfast.|
|japan_travels||YES||Very astute. Only high enough. Entry complete and fulfillment. Do not ever give up.|
|partyguy1||NO||Brought her baby and he stared at me the whole time. No thanks!|
|Names: Charity Dotorg, America Dotus|
Areas: Detroit, Slimer's Manse, The Pickle Barrel
Face: Red, pitted
Bust: Small, pointy, slightly cold
|KINGSEX||NO||Couldn't stop laughing the whole time she was rubbing her butt on me. Like a giant chocolate hamburger trying to eat me. "FROG IT IT!"|
|rob_gurt||YES||Very polite. Clean as can be expected. My wife really enjoyed looking at her butt through the one way mirror.|
|thasniffer||YES||Tequila shooters with a tangy wiff of bile. Very generous with the wrestling and the butt.|
|japan_travels||YES||Dave Matthew band lover. Share the sound and share the entry into cove. Explodes three time. Butt. Not so messy.|
|Chuck||YES||Hey guys, what's going on. Would really like to meet this girl and hold her hand. I'm working on a poem to woo her. Any help appreciated.|
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.