I Am So Very Sorry
No new content today, boys and girls -- monkeys broke into Lowtax's hotel room while he was out purchasing cases of counterfeit prescription drugs, and unsuccessfully mated with his laptop. While he's getting it cleaned he'll be unable to check in with another Cancun diary, so you'll all have to wait to hear what new and interesting varieties of tropical spiders have been laying pods of eggs under his skin.
To fill the void, I was in the process of writing this big long piece about the FBI 10 Most Wanted List and how it's really fallen on hard times from its heyday when it had the real bad guys who murdered and pillaged - guys like James Earl Ray, Ted Bundy, or Hannibal Lecter. Now we have a former piano player for John Mellencamp, Eric Franklin Rosser, on the list for allegedly producing and distributing child pornography. The piece I wrote was talking all about how the world is too safe of a place nowadays and why is it we barely have any really good bad guys, but then I realized that even for a site called "Something Awful" it was a bit much. Here's a partial list of what the piece contained in case you're really curious:
So actually you should probably be glad that I decided to toss the whole thing.
Forum Fun Continues
In case you missed it, there was more wild and crazy fun today with the forums when they were spontaneously deleted. Luckily eFront neglected to empty their Recycle Bin and after some quick h4x0ring, everything appears to be back to normal... for now. While on the subject, thanks to Snooty Upper Class Toff for an ad banner that eFront should consider putting into rotation. I'm sure Lowtax wouldn't mind too much.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.