This article is part of the Instruction for a Help series.

A NOBLE LADY come out a Red Friend. Save the town. Protect THE CENTER.

He come in a machine. Here he is, upon us now. So many eyes and lips and tongues on his meat. So many words nothing heard.

The fast metal all around. Bodie fall onto the stone. How the juice would nourish a tree. How the water would q
QUENCH a fire.

There is a place where you were. So many places where you were. The sound and laugh. A thing you do. The way a beam of fRIEND SUN catch in a golden hair. Now just a quiet place where a bodie was.


So sad, friend.

Still hope. Still hope. STTTtEQUESTING FIRE MISSION DANGER CLOSE REPEAT DANGER CLOSthe red worm is soft and strong at once.

Never hurt you. Never hurt you. FRIEND RED WORM is a love bodie come up from THE CENTEOW THE FUCKING CHARGES! TEAM XRAY FIVE WE ARE BINGO FUEL AND WE ARE LEAVING STATION YOU WILL HAVE TO SECURE THE LZ FORrrrrrrrrrrrf


There is a nothing inside him. Quiet and dark, but not for what was taken but for what never was there. They are the long silence returned. They carry a torch from below to burn up all that that THAT ALL THAT IS THAT ALL YOU GOT??? COME ON YOU BIG RED SON OF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH

A thing happening.


A word go away.

So much quiet.

So much dark.

I hear you Red Friend.

I always hear you.


More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About this series

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.