This article is part of the The Great Authors Series series.
Appendix I: Great Brewery Houses of the Galaxy
Boulevard Brewing (Kansas City, MO) - Ruled by the cruel Viscount Sorrowmek from the waste spires of Kansas City, his adherents toil endlessly to perfect a golden IPA called Shadowmilk. By imbuing his brewing process with the suffering of his followers - a catechism of agony they each endure from the auto-scriveners - and by using artifcats of the old empire, Sorrowmek has thrown down the guantlet for rich taste without overwhelming hops.
Avery Brewing (Boulder, CO) - The sky city of Boulder, long ago untethered during the war with the macro brewers of Anhaaser Tlulex, was once home to the Avery Brewing house. Raised from birth to become brewers, the men of Avery were said to be the finest brewers in the known galaxy. But the use of a chemical flavor additive was uncovered by the Emperor's Sikkerbrau. After a fierce battle, the brewery house was burned and the Avery charter was revoked. The survivors were exiled to the fringe.
Appendix II: Terminology of the Imperial Pale Ales
Sikkerbrau - Said to come from the prison city of Milwaukee, where only the hardiest beer drinkers survive, the emperor's personal legion patrols the brewery houses and enforces imperial rule. They are unwaveringly loyal and greatly feared throughout the galaxy.
Quali, Beardmen - The once-great brewhouse of Quali was torn apart by internal intrigues. Although they produce no new beers, they continue on as a training center for barbacks, marked by their thick beards and their hypno-conditioning to create machine-like minds. The side effect of the conditioning is that they are huge dickheads if you try to order a macrobrew.
Pawdala - Children and wives of the Bathrobi. Means, literally, "helpless ones" and sometimes includes the infirm or elderly. They help tend the Hewt and the more skilled are allowed to work at the Bathrobi vault brewers.
Gentle creature Mark Zuckerberg informs you that he enjoys his dog and wife the normal human amount. That he has a plan. That he will be Gentle Leader.
Afraid of ideas and free speech? Well then you better not read this article, coward.
Candles scented like Destiny planets - increases KDR by 26%!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Famous authors of renown and infamy find new inspiration when unexpected sponsors pay them to write. Not even death can stop them!