*Looks at yawning neck stump of Goofy mascot head* "Yeah, Pizza Hut, make that four Meat Lovers pizzas."
Okay now this guy is just fucking around.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.