I'm going to take my pants off and slither under a pile of farty Pajama Jeans. Then I'm really gonna get this party started.
How many dads have gone through life never knowing they needed a kick-bitch? It's a human tragedy.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.