Looking Ahead for Lowtax and Emily!
Step 8: Enjoy Engagement
Step 9: Get Married
Step 10: Discover New Wife's Hideous Secret on Wedding Night
Step 11: Accept Secret and Adapt Life
Step 12: Have Baby
Step 13: Grow old together / conquer planet.
Step 14: ENJOY ETERNITY!
Congratulations, Lowtax and Integral! From your worker monkies, we wish you all the best. Also, this little congratulations blurb is your wedding gift, so don't ask for anything else.
NFL teams may soon be lining up to bid on a man who can destroy defensive lines as thoroughly as he destroyed his own child's balls.
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The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.