The nominees for Best BDSM are authors who chose to explore the dark side of sexuality in their fiction. Their work may not appeal to all tastes, but it's impossible to deny their talent.
"Geoffrey's Revenge" (The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire) - Elaine Harris
Sample: "Geoffrey loosened the gag secured over Philip's mouth. The fat man gasped and struggled against his bonds. 'Release me this instant!' Geoffrey held a finger to his Philip's lips. 'Shhh," he hushed and then walked over to a curtain. He pulled on a drawstring and then drew the curtain away revealing a naked body tied to a bed. 'As punishment for all these years of torture, I will now make you watch as I defile your precious daughter," Geoffrey thrust into the naked body on the bed. 'Carlton, no!" Philip cried."
"The 120 Days of Gumby" (Gumby) - Rod Reynolds
Sample: "The Marquis de Sade nodded approvingly at Gumby's engorged clay member and he urged him into the salon. Goo waited, bound tightly to a column with her little flippers and lower tuft spread apart to provide access to her blue woman hole. Shackled and unable to speak, Prickle could do nothing but watch in mute horror, his face hidden behind the porcelain mask of a fine lady that matched his dress and perfume. With a groan of ecstasy, Gumby melded his beringed prick into the vicinity of Goo's loins.""Dugout" (Doug) - Louis Spurlock
Sample: "Doug couldn't believe that the injections were working. Bud's eyes rolled open and he mumbled. Doug smiled. His old foe was utterly at his mercy. With a pocket knife Doug sliced open Bud's shirt and his newly formed D-cup boobs fell out. Bud groaned. Doug roughly squeezed one of the boobs. 'They might still be tender,' he laughed and started slicing open Bud's pants to see how things were progressing with his new vagina."
The authors celebrated with this nomination may not have developed into the best authors yet, but they are new to the scene and they show a lot of promise. We look forward to good things from them in the future.
Danny Arnold for "SexyTown" (LazyTown)
Sample: "Stephanie writhed in ecstasy as Ziggy unleashed thick ropey blasts of puppet cum onto her face. Sportacus grunted and unloaded a river of searing jizz up her clenching shit tunnel just as Trixie orgasmed really hard on Pixel's tongue and female ejaculated a roaring torrent of white pleasure colada all over Stephanie's huge boobs. Stephanie's boobs started spraying milk and the sight of the milk fountaining up in burning arches put Robbie Rotten over the top and he pumped megatons of molten man macadamia onto Stephanie's butt."
Alicia Murdoch for "Dale's Transforming Bug Spray" (King of the Hill)
Sample: "Peggy couldn't believe her eyes, it was Boomhauer, but it was also a fox. He had fox ears and a fox tale. Fox whiskers and a body covered with fox fur, but that was definitely Boomhauer's big fat dick. Peggy fell to her knees instantly, loving the feeling of a big dick in her face hole. The dick went in and out of her mouth in a blowjob form. After a while Boomhauer orgasmed and said, "got-that-dang-old-what-you-gonna-got-it-right-there-dropping-a-big-old-here-it-whew." Just then Bobby walked in but he was halfway turned into a cat and he had a big boner too."
Jordan Jordan for "My Wife Trinity" (The Matrix)
Sample: "Trinity brought me the beer and she handed it to me. Let me see your butt I said and she turned around and bent over and I saw her butt and it was nice. Okay, let me see your uterus I said and she turned around and bent backwards so I could see up her uterus. Okay, let me see your boobs I said and they were small but nice so I licked them. I licked the left one eight times and the right one nine times. Then I said I have a boner and she said okay and she put it in her uterus and it was a good orgasm and she orgasmed twice before me and then once more as I orgasmed and her boobs got bigger. That was the one I said and just then agents broke into my house."
Congratulations to all of the nominees this year! Good luck and remember, just because you were not honored does not mean you should stop trying to create the best erotic fanfiction possible. Go out there and make those dreams come true!
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Call of Duty Advanced Warfare promises to up the ante on Kevin Spacey's face in a video game.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.