Dear Ryan Gosling's Character in Only God Forgives,
I am just a little girl trying to get some studying done in my house. I don't me anybody any harm. Sometimes I am afraid. It seems like people are out to get me. I know that makes papa worry. Is there anything I can do to help be safer?
Grateful in Grade School
Dear Grateful in Grade School,
Ryan Gosling's Character in Only God Forgives
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.