Dear Ryan Gosling's Character in Only God Forgives,
I am just a little girl trying to get some studying done in my house. I don't me anybody any harm. Sometimes I am afraid. It seems like people are out to get me. I know that makes papa worry. Is there anything I can do to help be safer?
Grateful in Grade School
Dear Grateful in Grade School,
Ryan Gosling's Character in Only God Forgives
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.