Hottest Grandpa Stories

(page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 74)

Blues Grandpa Tells it Like it Is (Submitted by GenuineBluesGrandpa)
Wisdom from a REAL black grandpa if you are black or just a fan of black grandpas then this is a great bunch of stories

NWV REAL black grandpa, 77, "Armstrong"
Grandpa Armstrong was my next door neighbor and he told some of the best and most intelligent stories I have ever heard. These are 100% real black grandpa stories, tales of life in on the streets in Harlem, in the south during segregation, white people good and bad, and advice for today's modern black youths. I am not black myself but I like to think of myself as half black.

SAMPLE

Nope never had much use for Elvis Presley. He looked like a white girl in a silver suit. Kids these days, they turned out too much like Elvis and not enough like B.B. King. Hearts supposed to give out from diabetes, not from bananas and peanut butter and pills and all that horse crap. Now, you tell me this. Tell me this. A boy growing up in Harlem today thinks Prince is the hottest thing on the scene, you dig that? They're going to perm theyself up and jerry curl all the way up to the rafters and then they gonna set themself afire. This Prince is a menace. No masculinities. Before you know it a negro won't know how to handle hisself. He'll have to ask a white girl what to do.


(3.9 out of 5) (1,228 votes)

Selected User Review
(Submitted by missychocogramps)
HOT & BLACK grandpa stories MELT IN YOUR MOUTH
OH MY GOD these are the best grandpa stories ever!! I have read them at least ten times. The way he tells black boys to "stay in school and get a white girl pregnant" just sends shivers up my spine. I could just read these all day long. Armstrong is THE black grandpa and you just forget about those other ones. Most of them are just white grandpas with a black picture. This is REAL. I FEEL this.



Grandpa Bathtime Collection - BGS FANS L@@K!! (Submitted by GrampsNSuds)
Korean Grandpa TELLS ALL about bathing habits and equipment. Get ready BGS fans for THE collection of bathtime grandpas stories!!!!

WV Korean grandpa, 83, Ho
My Korean grandpa Ho has severe arthritis and one of his favorite ways to relax his joints is with a hot bath. He has given me a lot of great stories over the years, but his bathtime stories were always my favorites so I collected all 11 of them here.

SAMPLE

Love to take bath. Cannot lay down to take bath anymore, but build great bath with sit-down bath chair. Water goes up past waist and I can feel all the bubbles all over my body. It is so fun. Pretty girl, come take a bath with me. I will kiss you in my bath. Hug you and kiss you in my bath. Kids your age should not watch cartoons. What is this Mickey Mouse is that a robot? Come on, turn it off pretty girl and take a bath with me. I rub you real good.


(3.7 out of 5) (6,881 votes)

Selected User Review
(Submitted by Bathexpert)
Great Bathtime fun
For those of you like me who were disappointed with Dante's Bathpack this is the cure for what ails you. Ho talks at length about the warm water soothing his aches and pains and he repeatedly tries to convince his teenage niece to take a bath with him. Great great stuff. Not explicit, but a little blue, but for those bath connosieurs out there like me that isn't going ot bother you one bit! Well worth the price or a great bathtime story xchange if you have something GrampsNSuds is interested in. A+ would xchange again!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.