Spoken like a true rape connoisseur. 
This sensual shaman is speaking my language! 
Is it some kind of foul or penalty if the other guy kicks my poop bag and bursts it? Thanks. 
This Week on Something Awful...
BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Mike's Teen News 2014
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Realistic Expectations For This Year's Biggest Games
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Funny Things to Say to a Guy Drinking out of a Sports-Style Bottle!
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
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