Spoken like a true rape connoisseur. 
This sensual shaman is speaking my language! 
Is it some kind of foul or penalty if the other guy kicks my poop bag and bursts it? Thanks. 
This Week on Something Awful...
I want my hotel bed to glow.
I want my bed to look like the health department is checking for bedbugs. I want to feel like it’s on an episode of Maury getting scanned for semen.
The New Ships Available for Star Citizen
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
Chuck Asay Cartoon Contest!
It used to be Chuck Asay who made wacko cartoons that chill you to the bone. Now it's the SA Goons!
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty; Out of the Furnace; The Book Thief
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan
Dan Haggerty and Joe Estevez get grizzly all up in Paul Bunyan's bizzly!
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
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