Spoken like a true rape connoisseur. 
This sensual shaman is speaking my language! 
Is it some kind of foul or penalty if the other guy kicks my poop bag and bursts it? Thanks. 
This Week on Something Awful...
Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
Awful Movie Awards 2015
Take a look back with us at some of the best and worst awful movie moments of the year!
Pet Disasters!
Pictures of cute animals are taking the Internet by storm! (It's a very destructive storm.)
Convincing People to Buy Mediocre Games, PAINTBALL MAX'D
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Fox on Sex: Playing Just Rough Enough with BDSM
- NBA Jamguistics
- HAITINEWSPLIG.HT: Collected News of Haiti and the World
- Attack of the Star Whackers
- Memos from Bear Cave: The Great Cholo Siege
