Remember, folks: clicking the Something Awful banner ads raises your sperm count! And, if you're a lady, it increases your egg count! Soon the entire SA reader population will be full of gigantic, fleshy bags of sperm and eggs! Now that I think about it, that isn't really much of a good thing. Oh well, screw it. Click on the banner ads anyway. If you do actually turn into a bag of sperm and eggs, take some pictures and send them in.

Oh yeah, if anybody wants to write map reviews for Cranky Steve's Haunted Whorehouse, feel free to send an example of a map review to [email protected]. Heck, if you want to write anything for SA, send an example of it to [email protected]. If it matches the style of the site, it's all yours. Don't email me asking if you can do (whatever), just send in an example of what you want to do, and if it's amusing, you sure as hell can.

Update on Gamefan / Express.com: no, they still haven't paid me (or any of their other sites). Yes, legal action is being taken.

After wrapping up the blue deck from "Heroes of the Gaming Industry", I'm proud to present the first four cards from the brand new green deck! Feast your eyes on these beauties:

Card 01 - nVidia PR
Card 02 - Eidos
Card 03 - Pseudo.com
Card 04 - Derek Smart

There's more to come, but in the meantime, check out the ones that have already come! Er, the ones that just came! Uh... nevermind.

Since some of you out there may not be aware of the previously unwritten rules to living in an apartment above me, I have chosen to rectify the situation by listing a short series of "Rules For Living in the Apartment Above Me". This should clear up any misconceptions you may have by providing guidelines such as the following:

Every day at 8:00 pm, you should drop something large and heavy, such as:

A refrigerator
A wheelbarrow full of lead and concrete
Raymond Burr's casket
A month's collection of all the Slim Jims and Yoohoo you consume
The entire world
If you don't have access to any of those items, then just trip and fall over. Try to at least be holding some cinder blocks while doing so.

Dropping heavy objects seems to be a popular pastime for living above me. Read the rules and find out what else is.

Ooh, yet another Soap Banditos comic? Two in the same month? Will wonders ever cease?

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

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