Beautiful Sweet Hillary Lookin' Hot, Lookin' Presidential

Clinton Leading Among Genuine Delegates

CNN - April 2nd, 2008
BY MOLTEN KYLE

When pledged delegates and automatic delegates are combined Obama has a narrow edge with 127 delegates more than Clinton. But factor in genuine delegates and remove fraudulent delegates and Obama's lead vanishes.

This is according to a new DLC system that breaks down pledged delegates into the categories of genuine and fraudulent delegates. Genuine delegates are those elected in a closed democratic primary or an open democratic primary with fewer than 20% African Americans. Fraudulent delegates are won in open primaries, heavily African American regions, and in caucuses.

The Clinton campaign endorses the new numbers from the neutral DLC and has put out a press release stating that it "doesn't make sense" to include crossover voters, people under 45, people who make more than 50,000 dollars a year, or African Americans when determining the delegate count. The Clinton campaign takes particular exception to the delegates won from caucuses.

"Caucuses unfairly favor Barack Obama's supporters and open the process to intimidation and gaming the system," stated the Clinton press release.

"Hillary's supporters are often left out. Caucuses do not accommodate people in iron lungs, people shackled to the walls of dungeons, soldiers that died in Iraq before their votes could be counted, and Alzheimer's patients who can become confused by the process and the sudden movements and vote for Obama believing his supporters to be family members."

CNN will be adjusting its delegate counts starting Monday to include fraudulent and genuine delegate breakdowns.

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Ye Majick Realme of Chuck Todd

Clinton Campaign Not Sure They Can Win Pennsylvania

MSNBC - April 21st, 2008
By Handsome Roger

According to a new Zogby poll Hillary Clinton's 19-point lead in Pennsylvania has become a 24-point lead for Barack Obama. Despite other polls still showing Clinton performing strongly in the state, the Clinton campaign has been downplaying her chances.

"She's definitely the underdog here," said Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell. "I think she can perform strongly, but it's going to be close."

NBC Political Director Chuck Todd estimates that Clinton may net between 11-15 delegates in tomorrow's primary. This would reduce Obama's razor-thin-almost-miniscule lead to only 108-112 delegates.

"Clinton has the support of almost the entire political establishment in Pennsylvania and it's a closed or 'Genuine' primary," explained Todd as he rolled his eyes.

We briefly looked at a phone and thought about contacting the Obama campaign for their comment on this story, but our deadline was approaching and we wanted to play Xbox.

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Clinton's Incredible Comeback Win in Pennsylvania Puts Obama on the Ropes

MSNBC - April 23rd, 2008
By Handsome Roger

In an amazing come-from-behind victory Hillary Clinton crushed Barack Obama in the crucial Pennsylvania primary 51 to 49. This landslide win goes against all expectations for Clinton, who was trailing behind Barack Obama by 23 points on the day of the primary.

"The time has come for us to support the nominee," Clinton told her supporters at a victory rally last night. "By the nominee, I of course mean me."

Clinton's chief message man Mark Penn believes Clinton gained critical support in the closing hours from an ad depicting Obama as a degenerate blood-smeared ape man smoking "hard drugs" while America burned in the background.

"It allowed us to draw important contrasts," Penn asserted. "It successfully countered the extremely negative campaign being run by Barack Obama."

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