"Don Cheadle, what are you doing here?!"
"We know not why we've traveled through time, but we see no finer place to plan The Revolutionary War than this Hotel For Dogs!"
"My children are dead! Damn you, Hotel For Dogs!"
"Can my dog and I...uh...rent a room by the hour?"
"I asked the concierge about tourist attractions, and he went to the bathroom on me. Can we have our money back?"
"Unless you can raise $50,000 in one week, this Hotel For Dogs will be turned into a parking lot for dogs."
"Wait a minute...we're not IN the Hotel For Dogs...we ARE the Hotel For Dogs!!!"
"I ordered room service, and the waiter ate my burger. Then he went to the bathroom on me. Where are the exits?"
"Hey, this place gives me a great idea: what about a Hotel for Humans?"
"Good news - I just blew up the Hotel for Cats."
"WHEN WILL HU-MANS LEARN THAT DOGS HATE HOTELS...CLACK-CLACK-CLACK-CLACK-CLACK! LOBSTER MEN, ATTAAAAACCKK!"
"How are these dogs paying for their hotel rooms? Oh great, we're bankrupt."
"These dogs are delicious."
"Oh, look, it's me from the future! And there's another me, made of anti-matter! All three of us are reaching out towards the exact same point in space, our fingertips on a collision course."
Levi Johnston finally comes clean about his involvement in the Weinstein scandal and details a disgusting incident that required a green screen.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.