This article is part of the The Great Authors Series series.
Whurp Derbal sprawled in the psychotronic detector, her sexy body wearing a US Flag Print Nylon Trico Ruched Front Tube Bra. Tubes like the tubes of the psychotronic detector that pulsed with psychophene as Hetter McPheev operated the machine's dials.
A whirring sound filled the room. He looked through the glass at the woman writhing around like a worm.
"No more nutrient bars until you talk to us, Derbal," said McPheev. "Where is President Hankem?"
"I don't know anything!" cried Derbal.
McPheev checked Derbal's psychic spectrum on the device. Indigo waves radiated from the sexy bombshell's body. It meant she was lying.
"You're lying," said McPheev.
"Prove it!" screamed Derbal as another blast of psychotronic particles emerged from the injector dish and slashed across her USA flag pants.
Perhaps, smiled McPheev, in time you will be the one to prove it.
The black pods of the attacking Death Destroyers pierced the atmosphere. Behind the controls of one of the leading capsules, Climm Zo'vanski readied his chaos beam gun. The charge tube was full and all of the safeties were switched into the off position.
For comfort, Climm wore the white shirt and purple thermal leggings of the Death Destroyer's Men's Baby Rib Long Underwear.
Climm thought about his favorite rock and roll song, as sung on Regulus 4 by Yoot Gansby. It was called "Rock and Roll Around the Day" and it made Climm feel very homosexual for the other Death Destroyers.
Being a homosexual was a part of joining the evil Ganymede storm soldiers. The rock and roll just made it all that much easier.
"Spread out in attack formation!" commanded High Warlord McPheev. "We will make the Earthioids suffer for what they have done."
McPheev slammed his fist into the psychotronic scopes.
Far below, nearly on the planet's surface, Climm Zo'vanski was about to be a statistic of warfare on McPheev's screens. The Death Destroyers were finally meeting their match in Truk Mestro and the Outlaw Apaches power bikers.
|Zack is the author of the new short story collection Wages: Future Tales of a Hired Gun, a blood-soaked satire of private military contracting. He is also the author of the genre-hopping novel Liminal States, soon to be available as an audiobook. You can find out more about Zack's latest projects and special offers on his Facebook page.|
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Famous authors of renown and infamy find new inspiration when unexpected sponsors pay them to write. Not even death can stop them!