You SUPER Lose!
You leave graduation early to get a jump start on your application over at Bill's Bar and Grill. Unfortunately, they do not hire you because they assume you're probably insufferable. And though they will never know for sure, they were right. No one likes you.
All the amazing predictions from The Simpsons that finally came true in 2016.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.