This article is part of the HYURGI TIGERWOODS series.
Hello it is me HYURGI I am here to tell you something.
Have idea for projekt? Plan for business monies but no monies? Excellent dude nephews Jurek and "Matt" are taking crowd sorcerers to the next level. The FUNdable level.
What do I speak of, Hyurgi, you ask?
Number one website to get attention for project and get monies to build your project and fund it. Say example is you want world largest biceb and you require 90,000 US dollar bills to purchase dren, weightMax, CZERB (Yugoslav dren), ape stem cell, gainshake, strongpill and strongpill RX+ and large jet plane tire to flip over and build biceb.
You log into GORSKFUNDR by create username. My name is HYURGINUMBERONEBEST and I create a GORSKFUNDR to fund biceb expansions. To entice people you post picture and a blog and you give them promise. Example:
you get a thank you e-card with a hamster playing hay sloopies and say GO OHIO STATE FOOTBALL
a signed rope I broke with my bare hand because I detest restriction such as rope tying hands or feet
$50 USD box copy of Hyurgi Tigerwoods Pro Biceb Manager you manage any strengthman you choose and create fantasy strengthman gym team work out with kettlebells to increase pumps and insult over loudspeaking phone to increase intensity "HEY HOW IS YOUR WIFE SHE WAS 'PUMPED' WHEN I KISSED HER ON A FACE LAST NIGHT HA HA!"
$100 USA DOLLARS and you will receive all previous items plus authentic poster of HYURGI receiving gold medal of olymbics technical achievements in unleashment of terrifying raw power of body potential to become unstoppable flex and weight shifting machine.
$250 USD actual hat worn by chernobyl firefighter actually not real firefighter hat but similar plastic version belongs to chernobyl male stripman with firefigther themes who also was conscripted by government to become hero and put out fire in reactor. Statue is dedicate to all stripmans who gave their lives for country as patriotic hero.
$1,000 USD IF you are of the sort with wife or sexydaughter of legal ages I will hug them into my arm and lay on bed with them for up to 15 minute looking into their eye and saying famous Russia romantic phrase such as "speznaya os polenka" which is translate to, "Your hair seems smaller today, I like this way." If you do not have a wife or sexydaughter I will be happy to punch a man you choose where and when. I will not hit a dog.
$10,000 USD TOP LEVEL all of other items plus I will name a vein in my biceb after you. There are six veins as thick as ropes and eleven veins as thick as a big string. First to come, first to service on these veins so better hurry if you want big vein.
Prepare yourself for quite possibly the most effective use of "BOWL" as a sound effect.
Who needs three months of endless summer fun? You have a career!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.