This article is part of the That Insidious Beast series.


Slaves Message



Description: Ascending chime tone accompanies a blue screen. The word "TRUTH!" appears on the screen and flashes nine times. It stops flashing and yellow text scrolls along the bottom reading, "YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT YOU ARE SLAVES. FREE YOURSELF." This must be a military transmitter because I captured a good twenty minutes of it. Several military tones intrude, probably jamming attempts, but the signal remains clear and repeating. It finally cuts off dead at the 21-minute mark.

Observations: This one broke into the local channel, so my guess is it's a military grade broadcaster on the other side of the Wall. Probably Unfolder propaganda.

One Armed Soldier Talks



Description: This video cut in abruptly on Channel One with a loud high-frequency tone. It started mid-sentence and had bad audio that slowly cleared up. The video was washed out, but otherwise clear. It features a pale, bald soldier with one arm in a combat uniform sitting at a reviewing stand almost like he is in a courtroom. A deep voice from off screen asks him questions.

Voice: How did you die?

Soldier: Dead? I must have got lost. There was an explosion, I woke up in the hospital. What did you mean dead?

Voice: Where are you now?

Soldier: They said I was in Canada.

Voice: What were you doing here?

Soldier: I was part of a mission to, I mean, I can't, you know what I can't say.

Voice: Have you met any Unfolders?

Soldier: No sir, but we trained to kill them.

Voice: Are you sure?

Soldier: I'm sure of that. I'm not too sure of a lot of what you're saying, but that-

Voice: What if I told you I was an Unfolder?

Soldier: Well that-

Voice: What if I did this?

At that point a shadow falls over the soldier, he looks horrified, and the video cuts out.

Observations: A lot of the videos here could be faked or staged, but this one is especially creepy to me for some reason. The fact that the soldier is just sitting there apparently unaware that he is missing an arm, the way the shadow at the end of the video seems to...unfurl, the fact that I don't know of anyone who can act as well as this guy. If it's fake, the soldier isn't in on the fakery.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.